Tuesday, January 6, 2015

After That 15 hours : : Opposite Wind

Read from the beginning here

Chapter 4 : Opposite Wind

No matter how much time passes, no matter what takes place in the interim, there are some things we can never assign to oblivion, memories we can never rub away. I can still remember those beautiful days. The intervals between the classes, The weekends we spent together in the college, Evenings I took her to the beach. Oh.. Susan loves sunset. She is been seeing this since her childhood. We have seen it together for a number of times, though she welcomed each sunset as she never experienced it before. It was Susan's usual habit to stand still there, eyes closed, facing the great sun when he starts to hide himself from the light. It was always an amazing experience for me. To see Susan standing there with her eyes closed and a tiny smile on her lips. She always hid a smile on her face.

But time is beyond our control. Days passed like gentle fall of leafs from a tree. As I look back, I could recollect the moments I spent with Susan. Those amazing days. The days I enjoyed most in my life. 

But , life is a long journey, in which difficulties always has an upper hand over happiness. Sometimes life can be incredibly cruel as well. It can lead you to a situation where you feel there is no valid relations, Where you feel loneliness at it best even though you are surrounded by number of friends.  I never had any hard, bitter situation before that. I was happy throughout my life. My parents raised me by showing their life as an example. I was happy about my family,friends,parents,school life....everything I experienced till that day. But what my life spared me in Susan's case was trouble. I loved her more than she thought. But there came situations where she ignored my love. Love is like that. You can't predict it nature. You may feel it at any time, to any one, up to any extent. You will do anything for whom you loved. But Love is the most vulnerable thing. Not years, but a single second is capable of destroy the love in an individual. No matter how much you loved or how long you have been in love, Its hard to get it back once you lost it. Thats what makes the love a precious thing.

2010 Nov 10. It was Susan's 19th birthday. I woke up as usual and looked forward to meet Susan in the class. Last night I called her and she was extremely happy. I called her at 11.50 in the night to wish her. I called 10 minutes ahead of 12 o clock because I didn’t want any one else to wish her ahead of me. We talked casual things till 12 and then I wished her in the most beautiful way I was aware of. I , Ashish S Nair, from a middle class Hindu family borrowed one sentence from the bible and  wished her by quoting that.

“Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul. “

I knew what Susan likes and what she doesn't. She loved bible and found some time to read it everyday.
This knowledge helped me to wish her in a completely different way and I am pretty sure that she liked it.

I reached the class little earlier than usual. Normally Susan comes before me. But that day It was me who came first. I waited for her arrival however the result was negative. She came just few seconds before the faculty does. While entering, she turned her head towards my side and I realized that her eyes were looking for me. Class began. Susan in the first seat of the right side. Class went on, I attempted to listen the class in light of the fact that I couldn't find whatever other approach to breathe easy there in that class. I sat there , pretending as an intrigued individual. However my eyes were on Susan. Susan appeared to be unsettled there. Something is irritating her. It was Susan who acted instantly after the class. She ran towards me and said in a rush.

“ Don’t go hostel for lunch today. We will have from canteen.”

“ Birth day Treat. ??. I asked

“ Nope. Just wanted to tell u something. We will go after the lab class.“. She replied and left me, not even bothering to listen what I had to say.

Anyway, Lunching from canteen wasn't a tough task for me. Especially when I was keen to talk to her.
So we reached canteen around 1'o clock. She found a table at corner side of the room for us. We ordered meals and waited there to arrive our food. Usually she used to sit opposite to me because she    prefers face to face talking. But this time she found herself a seat over the side chair of mine. From the beginning itself I felt something fishy about her plan. I could feel something wrong with her.

“What you want to tell me, my birthday girl ?”. I asked her.

Susan walked into the most unforgettable day of my life.  

” Da .first you have to promise me that you wont disclose it to any one else. “ 

“ Oh..Secret..? Common.. I wont...” I replied as I leaned towards her so that she can say her secret in my ears.

“Don’t play. I'm serious..Promise me.”. She said again.

“ Shhh...Secret..Tell me..tell me...” . I tried to cool the situation.

“ Ashish.... I told you that I’m serious.. Listen..”. Susan screamed.

Then I realized that I should get out of my casual mood to hear what she wants to say.  Otherwise My crying tom will leave me. So I sat steadily in order to give her a space to say her secret.

Its been disturbing me for the past three four days. I wanted to tell you this on several occasions. But I didn't. Then I thought  its better to select this day. My birthday. Do you remember that day you promised me that you will give whatever  I ask for on my birthday ?”

Yeah I remember. Go on..Ask “. I replied.

Don't misunderstand me. If  you find any single mistake, please discuss with me. OK ? “. Susan said, still not managed to proceed with the matter.

Ok Susan. You say the matter. I'm not gonna kill you “. I said. 

Her presentations make little fear in me as well. Susan needs to say me something which she assumes to hard to tell me. That made me truly unnerving. I got a little thought on what she needed to let me know. Different film scenes rang a ringer. Scenes where the on-screen woman character endeavoring to tell her fondness to the mail character. Susan gonna propose me!, Finally, the most anticipated day has come. I thought in my brain.

“ Actually... I love one person “. She said as she tried to avoid the eye contact.

Who ?. Tell me”. I asked her in a surprise look. I pretended there as a boy who never expect that sentence from her. She didn’t reply for a while.

Tell me who ?” . I asked her again. More like demanding. Still no answer.

I kept quiet and gave her time.  “ Common Susan tell me. Its me ..your Ashish. I waited two years to hear this from you..I am still.......”. I thought in my mind.

 Susan's reply didn’t let me to finish my thoughts. She walked into her most kept secret.

“ Its him. Amin ”

Amin was her school friend who is currently studying Dubai. She hardly talked about him to me. All I knew was Amin , Rohit and Susan were in same class and they were good friends.

Still I could feel that feelings which has experienced my brain. I acted before Susan. Maybe that was the first occasion when I acted before her, and it was a starting.. Start of the quantity of developments happened in me. I lost the great Ashish. It was the beginning of everything.

Susan wanted me to support her.  There were events where Susan was befuddled to take a firm decision. She is not the sort of young lady who confer a connection only for a fun or time pass or for name sake.So it was hard for her to take a decision. She adores Rohit. Yet she was totally jumbled whether it would be a fair decision or not.

All the time, I supported her.. I dint say my emotions to anybody. I didn't need any other person to know my issues. I took unique consideration to act ordinarily before her. Susan never showed signs of change. She carried on precisely as she did days prior. She minded me in the same way she did. At the same time things were skipping far from me. The feeling "Amin's Susan " headed me to a rationally tired circumstance. Things went terrible for me. I acted at its best in front of Susan. I needed to over come the circumstances, I attempted yet I proved unable. Each one message from Susan made some issue in me. Yet I figured out how to go on. “At least She is still with me.”. I thought.

Days passed by, It was college arts festival time when I got my energy back. A lot of things happened in between. Susan and Amin got closed. Susan preferred Rohit as the way to tell her love to Amin. She didn't have the courage to tell him directly , So she used the help of Rohit. He acted as the message carrier between Amin and Susan, Which strengthen their friendship. She found some time to call Rohit as well.

That day Kiran woke me up. Kiran,one of my colleague who is extremely passionate about dancing needed us to perform a Rock emulate on our arts day. He structured a group of 7 individuals and made us to practice the program each night. He chose the song,composed the steps,decided the part, recommended the was he who took all the obligations. We used cash for outfits & instruments as though we are using for a beneficial business. 

It was a Thursday. The second day of our arts. We arrived at college around 9'o clock and got prepared for the program. Kiran needs to perform ahead of some other group and he picked up the first space with his contacts. We performed well. Everybody praised us. I searched for Susan and she wasn't there. While I backtracking to change my outfits, I got some information about Susan. From her answer I understood the way that Susan wasn't there for my program.  She was aware about my program. I told her to come. But Susan didn't come.

Something wrong was happening when I reached the auditorium again. Kiran, standing in the middle arguing to some of the people from program committee. I asked Jithin what the problem is.

We are disqualified.” he said.

What. Why? “. I asked as I moved near to kiran.

They says original instruments are not allowed in Rock mime. We used keyboard ,right!!. So they disqualified us. ”

We used original keyboard for our program which was against the rule  we weren't aware of.
Kiran argued to the program committee and they promised him to have a talk with the judges. May be because of our performance, They gave us third price which was not at all an acceptable result for us, especially kiran. Somehow we managed to cool him down. 

Throughout that day, my eyes were searching for her. In between I made her a call but she didn't pick up. But she send me a message in reply.

Da. I will cal u back in the evening. Little busy with some programs now. I will tell you everything. “.

Her message was a big relief for me. That was the best reply for my concerns. That day I understood how much possessive I was about her. I was thinking about the absence of Susan since the morning. Various possibilities came to my mind. I picturised the worse situation where Susan ignored my program in order to spend time with Rohit. But luckily Susan replied me back. Its enough for me. I didn’t try to call her again. “Let her do her work.” . I thought.

When I reached hostel after the day's programs, I casually visited Kiran's room. He is sitting in his bed as if he got raped just before, with his face supported on his knees. I called him out. His unpleasant face says everything. Kiran is not at all pleased with the result we got. I called Jithin and all our remaining team mates. For the next one hour I completely forget about Susan as we discussed about our result. Finally they halted their discussion with a decision. 

Lets go to the BAR” .

I never drunk alcohol before. Not even beer. But I usually go to bar with my friends. They usually drink as much drinks they could. For boys the amount of alcohol consumed by him is a scale to measure his stamina and mind control. But my friends doesn't have any control. They forgets everything once they drunk liquor. One person will laugh for  nothing, other one will cry, dancing,singing.... But it was always nice for me to go with them. I simply enjoyed each moment with them. That day we reached Devalokam bar around 9 in the night. Kiran inaugurated the process by taking the first sip. Since then, it was a mass crying in that room. Kiran moaned like a baby.

Bloody seniors. They got first price for doing some show off. We tried hard and performed well. Its politics. Senior's politics. I will kill themmmm..” . He cried out. Others join with him. Kamalesh started hurting himself by hitting his own chest.

My phone started ringing from my pocket. Everyone stopped discussion as they heard the ringing sound. “ Who the fuck is that...Who the fu......”. An English song which one of my friend gave me  weeks before. They stared at me as they heard the song. Without letting the song to complete, I left the room,pressed the green button and talked to Susan. Yeah it was Susan.

Hi Susan. Where were you ?”. I asked in a calm voice. I was angry upon her as she didnt come for my performance. But I didn't show that.

Sorry da. I missed your program. I wanted to come. Sorry”. She said.

Its ok. Everyone were busy today. It was not mandatory to see my program.” .I replied her.

Yeah. That is my Ashish. Always supporting me. Ma own friend.” . Susan said with a loud laugh.

“Haha... What were you doing actually.?. I didn't even see you today. “. I commented.

Yeah. I am coming to that. I was in stage two. With Rohit. His program was there. Oh my god !! I was very much tensed there. Being with him is not that easy..”.  She said and waited for me to say something in reply. 

It took few seconds for me to open my mouth. It was an unexpected reply for me. I felt it as a stab on my heart. Somehow I managed to say some words.

Ohh.. nice.How was it ?". I asked. Susan was waiting for that question. She started describing all the things happened that day. I felt as I am talking to a talkative person. She was excited to say those things. “You know , he don’t even know the lyrics of that song, then too he entered into the stage. Stupid guy he is. Always doing fun.........he did that.....He told me that....We went there..............”  She continued..Susan was totally excited...Tears began tumbling from my eyes. To begin with a drop, then it spilled out of my eyes, in the same way as a stream.. through my face, then through midsection it went down. It didnt stop. Ashish S Nair, 19 years old have never been cried previously. At the same time I didn't realize what happened that day. I couldn't stop. Susan,ive preferred you since the day we began talking. I like your giggle, grin, face, identity, cleverness. Everything. Presently i could feel something is skipping far from me. Like some see sand on my hand, Its began skipping far from me when i attempted to hold it hard.I never cried before. I never had to..My situations never made me to cry.I returned to the room. The are just about to finish their drinks. I examined the table. One bottle of white mischief is still there on the table, unopened. I stared at it. Continuously..

we exited the bar around 10:15. I don't know how to gauge the amount of liquor I consumed.( I'm not acquainted with this peg,large,small things). What I knew was I expended two glasses of liquor that day, diluted in fact. I have never tasted liquor previously, not even beer. My ideas were against liquor. Why ought to individuals drink liquor ?. Everything has changed that day.I was supposed to lead my friends to hostel.  In any case that day I don't know how they headed me to hostel.  On the way back to hostel, Arju regurgitated and began snickering to no end which he couldn't control for whatever remains of the day. Kamalesh crossed the rushy parkway street without viewing the vehicles, Kiran hugged one people tree and complained to it about his rock mime result. Somehow we reached the hostel around 11 in the night.  Shahid come and pick me to our room. I couldn't sleep for some time. All the beautiful moments happened between Susan and me came to my mind. Alcohol played those scenes slowly for me.

It was my room mates to whom I said my disaster. I sat in the floor, supporting my again on the floor. Ranjith sitting on the table with Shahid  while Shahal lying on the couch. I recounted to them every bit my story. The listened it as they are going to a critical gathering. The investigated the whole story as I completed. It was Shahal who responded first.

leave it man. You will get an other beautiful girl. Pakka “

Everybody had their own particular adaptations of answers for my depiction. All attempting to support me. In any case nothing was sufficient for me. "Attempt to forget that" they said. Furthermore I truly attempted to obey them in that. 

The Days passed rapidly. My friends were dependably there for me, yet I like to be with another friend. An uninvited friend who came to my life on that night at Devalokam bar. Liquor. At first it was two pegs. Then three, four.. it went on.

Susan was examining me for the recent days. She could feel something wrong in the middle of us. She didn't say it or talked about with me however studied me from the back. I began rebuking her for basic things, overlooking her exhorts, Intentionally kept me occupied before her.( I need her to begin talking first.) But she never ignored me. not in any case a bit. She could adjust herself up to any extent for me. But none of her activities were sufficient to change my attitude. Dreadful things happend step by step. dissentions, blaming..then battling...Everything bagan on that day. That saturday. 

When I arrived at my room after the usual football match, I saw susan's missed call in my phone. It was around 7 at night and i took a fast shover so i can call susan without any unsettling influence.( I was sweating and my dresses were completely soaked. I dint need to converse with her in that condition).I called her however her phone was busy. I made her an other call. Results same. I called her after 10 minitues and it was occupied once more. This was not the first occasion when I confronted this circumstance. Yet this was the first occasion when her line went occupied for a long 10 minitues. all the time she used to get back to me when she see my missed call. Yet that didn't happen today. It took 45 minitues for her to get back to me. I began with an inquiry and she replied with a "Sorry,It was Amin'.

"Ok. Why did you call me?"

"Is it neccessary to have a reason to call you ?". another quesion for my question.

" No. What is the problem". I fired back. "No soft talks. be a tough man" I told myself.

"Nothing great. simply called you dude..Saturday na..". Susan burst into laugh. We usually call each other on weekends. Sometimes me , Sometimes Susan. But call was around 7-8 in the evening.

" Ok. You were busy during our normal timing.". I said.

" Yeah. Actully i was going to let you know. Amin won't be accessible on our day times. Night as well. He said he will be available in nights. Thats why.And i said ok for callin gme aound 7 PM. We can talk later or earlier". She said.
"Alright.". I answered. Didn't say whatever other word. Whatever she said was 100% correct. No slip-ups. However i didn't say an alternate word. I hanged up the call and left my room.
That was a clear indication of my change. Susan continuously understood the issue in was clear from her responses that she never expected it from me. She found more time to spent with me.she attempted to persuade me, attempted to change my considerations, She demonstrated the extent to which she loves him,how much she need him in her life. It was never simple for her to make me understand the things. She attempted yet fizzled. Terrible things kept on happening in the middle of us. She balanced her most extreme and attempted again to persuade me.. Having a go at attempting...Anyhow she failed. She failed each time she tried. Trying trying trying...but she failed and then she...she quit.

Battling started to happen practically ordinary. All that she does wasn't right in my eyes. I felt so. step by step Susan began overlooking my remarks. Of course nobody can't experience such circumstances for quite a while. Susan's obliviousness was not to mischief me however for keeping herself far from the inconveniences created by me. There happened the times where she intentionally left the class promptly after the class got over. Now and then she dismissed her face from me. Sometime she needed to double think before attending to my call. Anyhow the more Susan leaves me, the more i needs to be with her. One day I called her and we were examining the cool things happened that day. discussion was going fine till she said that she has gotten a missed call from Amin in the midst of my call. She made me to disengage our call and went to call him. I utilized the accompanying 30 minutes expecting her call anyway i didn't get any sign from Susan. I couldn't hold up more so i called her again and the line was possessed.  I attempted various times yet the result was same constantly. Anyhow to my surprise, she called me and approached the explanation behind my calls. I answered the same sentence she used to let me know when i ask the reason fro her call. 

"Is it necessary to have any huge thing to call you ?". I asked 

"No. not unnecessary. But now its Amin's chance. I have as of now told you. Right?. You are calling me for nothing, right?. Amin was totally irate upon me when i said him that i have to call you."

"Is he irate on me ?. Why?." I yelled. 

" You called me in the middle of our talking. that too for nothing." .That was the second time she pronounced that word 'for nothing' which made me extremely furious. 

"You could have let him know that you can't maintain a distance from my call?" . I asked her. 

"Why should i?. What he saying is correct only. right ?. " Susan replied in a low but firm  voice.

" Oh. that implies its my misstep na. Alright. I won't do it once more". I threw my telephone without disconnecting her call with the goal that she could hear the voice of my telephone hitting the wall.

That was literally end of an era. End of a 15 ,months long beautiful friendship. I hated her that day. I really did. I think, that was the first minute I looked her as the greatest error of my college life. I was not sad, disappointed neither. I felt deceived. Not what Amin said her, But her answer to me made me more uncomfortable. I began reviling her. I started cursing her. I discussed this with one of my friend Vishnu. I expected a steady answer from him however his reaction was totally against me. He couldn't discover a solitary misstep from her. "Whatever she said is correct when you think of her as circumstances.". He said. Vishnu had a sensible clarification  for each of my protests against her. "It might be a direct result of  that..because of this...". He was thinking everything sake of her.. He was reasoning everything behalf of her. His words reduced the anger in me but I decided not to call her from my side. 

Susan held up outside the class for me following day and she approached me to bunk the class for her. At first I was not in the slightest degree satisfied yet later I needed to comply with her. Her point was only to apologize for what happened the last night. I listened everything quietly. I kept  noiseless on the grounds that I needed her to know how it influenced me. . From my silence, she understood the thoughts going in me and she acted accordingly. And I agreed to talk her again and she was happy.
But unfortunately bad things happened again. I started finding mistakes in almost all her actions. Whatever she does, it was not simply alright for me. Above all,, I felt unimportant in front of her which made me mad and I continued to blame her for everything. Everyday fighting then solving it back..this process continued for a while. 

But everything with a beginning has an end. My fighting and blaming were more than she could handle. I made her cry most of the days. “ I loved you as my own and is this what you are giving me?. “ . She asked me frequently. But I found reasons to believe in my stands. Everything was her mistake in my eyes. That day, That Saturday I called her and she talked me for around 15 minutes. It was 10 at the night and we talked about Amin's coming to Kerala.

Amin will reach airport tomorrow. I'm planning to go to.....” She said with a little dread and after that a long hush. The call got separated without waiting for Susan to complete her sentence. I checked my telephone and found that the balance is over. I held up little for her call however regardless of the information that she won't get back to me, I cleared out my space for recharging the cell. Hostel gates were shut and I had to jump hostel boundaries. I ran to main junction where I found an opened shop.  

“Ok. Are you going alone ?” I asked her when she attended my second call and she said yes. I asked whether I ought to go with her or not. She said she could go alone. I needed to go with her yet she didn't let me.

I was washing my clothes when Shahid said me about his talk with Susan happened that day. He was coming from college ground and came directly to me when he saw my face at the washing place from the distance. From his conversation I understood that Susan lied to shahid that she went airport to see her cousin . She presented Amin as her cousin to Shahid. I haven't bothered to change it. I gave a pleasant smile and shacked my head. But the next sentence was the one which screwed our story.

“Susan and Rohit are good friends, right?. Rohit was also there with Susan”. 

“Where?”. I asked him back.

“With her to airport. They went together I guess. Now they are in college. Standing near the canteen” He said. 

Those words felt as a cut on my flush. The extent that I knew, Susan was going alone. Is it Shahid's mix-up or Susan deceived me Which she never did previously. I completed my washing in sudden and arrived at my space to call her. I took my phone and called her. She is not attending. I tried again but no answer. Without waiting for her to call me back, I left the room and decided to go college canteen. I was going to run when I saw our bike supported on the hostel wall. We companions purchased one used bike a month back for 5000 rupees. The bike was in great condition which will create sound for everything with the exception of horn. Absence of front head light kept us from utilizing it on the nights. Absence of break made us to scratch our legs on the read to stop the bike. Absence of both side stand and focal stand constrained us to park our vehicle close to a wall or a tree with the goal that we could help our bike on it. When I saw our bike there, I turned back and went to take it, After various attempting, I began its motor and I was prepared to go. I took a U turn and scarcely moved a 100 meter when I saw a long extended arm, asking a lift in front from me. When I arrived at all the more closer ,I Understood the face and it was kamalesh. He too was to college and when I stopped my bike for him,its motor got off. It was a dreary assignment for me to begin it once more. I attempted to begin by kicking the kicker. But no positive result. I took a gander at Kamalesh, He is standing still there, In a striped formal shirt and pants, not by any means attempting to help me. I was in total hurry when I started the scooter again. I wanted to see Susan with Rohit to confirm my doubt. I wanted to reach the canteen before the finished eating. I wanted her to say a big No to my question. Most of all, I wanted to ask her why did she lie to me. But this scooter already wasted my 10 minutes. I gave maximum acceleration and the college is in our eyesight now. I headed to the back gate and there I hunt down a stopping spot for my standless bike. I didn't have the patience enough to find a tree or a wall. So I speed own the scooter and jumped from it when its speed was almost zero. In any case kamalesh never anticipated this and he was not prepared to jump from it.  When I looked back while walking towards the canteen, all I could see was, the scooter lying on the mud water with Kamalesh.  

I saw Susan there near the canteen. I directly walked towards her without any hesitation. I looked around . No sign of Rohit. I fired a series of questions.

“Why are you her?, Why did you lie?...”. I wanted her to say some positive reply to me.

However susan kept quiet. Furthermore it was a huge long hush.

“Why did you lie to me?”. I asked.

She didn't answer yet kept her quiet. I pushed her to say it, and she finally did.

“ I was afraid of you. Amin told me to come with Rohit. I would not like to open our plan to you in light of the fact that it will harm you. So I stayed silent.” 

" I asked you whether I ought to accompany you or not. Right?. You could tell that then. Right?. This is...". Susan didnt let me to complete my words. She answered in brutal voice. 

"Ashis,please quit faulting. I don't think its an enormous issue. Rohit is my companions and I will run with anybody I wish. You dont need to stress over that. Continuously blaming...”. With that Susan left from me.

Sunday, December 7, 2014

After that 15 hours : The Unforgeable days

  Chapter 3 : The Unforgeable days

Yet to read previous chapters ? . Try here

Shahid didnt have anything to say, He was resting till seconds prior. He didn't realize what the inquiry was. That was a wonderful day for Shahid. He got whatever he deserved.
Toward the end of the class, I ran towards Susan. I needed to say a sorry to her. But something unexpected happened just before I arrived at her. It was Kamalesh. He was such a decent individual who can even make a cheerful individual into a miserable grouchy exhausted individual. His Spiked tan shaded hair with thick surrounded enormous dark specs provided for him an appearance of the most freaky individual of the college. But   he never freaked out. Sitting in the first bench,always taking notes ,continually asking doubts.... " the man with lot of questions.". That is what we used to call him. Such a boring person he was.

" Ey bro. Do you recognize what is the distinction between 4 stroke and two stroke ?". He asked me as he remained in the middle of Suasn and me.

" I don't know man. " I said in hustle.

" Man its simply the starting. If we cant answer a question now,It will be difficult for us to move forward. " .He said with a tensed face.

I was not in any way in a mind-set to hear him out. I attempted to dodge him. Yet nothing succeeded. I caught infront of him. Kamalesh the incredible trapped me.
I composed a message as I walked back to hostel.

“ I'm sorry Susan. They are trying to tease me. Please dont take it serious.”

I dint get her answer. I arrived at hostel, still no answer. My mobile beeped thrice. All the time I opened my in box expecting her message. Yet none of them were from her. I cleared out my phone there and set off for college ground. I usually have the habit of playing football with my companions. After two hours, I reached my room.

I dint bother to remove my drenched shirt or foul smelling sox. I took my phone. To my surprise no message were there.

That made me truly furious. "She could have answer it. Positive or negetive. She could have answer. This is bullshit". I thought.

I send her a message again. “ Susan. Please reply. I am sorry.ok... Please. “

Nothing went good for me. Still no reply. Then I called her. No answer. Called again. No asnwer. Sadness turned to angry.

 At least reply Susan”. I sent her again.

With that I quit attempting. At the same time my condition was awful that day. I never experienced much of sorrows throughout my life. I was cheerful for the duration of my life. So I realized that even a little battle can exacerbate me. I took telephone to call her once more. Yet my Ego didn't permit me to do so. I investigated my telephone. Its 8:30 now. Its getting late. "Need to have food". I thought as I stood up from my chair. I took my towel and a spare of dress and strove for a shower.

Kamalsesh is singing an English tune from the next restroom. His singing almost made me to hate all the musicians. " Useless gentleman". I said however in a low voice.

I completed my shower and got prepared to have my food. I called my roomamtes and with them I arrived at mess. We sat in a work area at the corner side of the chaos corridor. Everybody is talking, giggling, teasing..but I didn't feel to do so. "Susan.. you made me dismal. ". There came Kamalesh the incredible. "Today is the most exceedingly bad day of ma college life." I thought as I provided for him a chilly welcome grin.

“ What is the answer bro. That two stroke and four stroke” . He asked.

“Go and ask your dad you Fu****”. I wanted to say.But it was Shahal who gave him the answer. They discussed something and I was compleetly out of my mind.

We finished our meals and reached our room back around 9:45. Kamalesh made as to finish our food as fast as possible.When I opened my phone next time, One message from Susan was there in it. I opened her message and read it.

                            “Don't be sorry. I'm ok now :p :p
Me: “ Y didnt you reply. Wher were you????? “.
Susan: I didnt go nywhere. I saw ur messages. :P“.
Me: “Oh.U saw my messages. Den y didnt u message?
Susan; “Actually I almost send the reply for the first message. But then I decided not to      
Me:  “ Why
Susan took sooner or later to answer. I send the same message once more, requesting the explanation behind her odd choice. She took 5 minutes to answer me.

“  I was happy to see each of your messages. I kept quiet because I wanted you to send more message. Person I like is bothering about me. Its a good thing to watch. I simply like to feel your love upon me”

I read the message over and over. It was compleetly an amazement for me. I pressed the reply button and put a few smiley's. Anyhow didn't send. I was befuddled about how the answer ought to be. Should answer with a few smiley's or argue with her for what she did. My mind composed different types of messages. But none came in action. At that point came her next message about the things happened in the morning.She said me not to worry about the things happened earlier.I felt a big relief.

"Susan Jose.. you are wonderful.". I said myself. We kept on messaing till 12 in the night.

And that was how I met Susan jose. We were enjoying our friendship those days.One thing we both had in common was we both loved each other verymuch. It didnt take much time for me realize the fact that  she is the one I actually wanted to live with. I knew that she liked me a lot. But I wanted her to say it again and again. She did

that for me. But with an extra word. “ I like you as a good friend”. That was the sentence she used to tell me. I dont know the reason why Susan always ends that sentence like that. “ Whats wrong in saying“I live you” to her dearest friend. Why is she always remembering me that she loves me as her friend. No need to mention that always.Clever Susan never wanted me to consder her as my girl friend. That was the reason behind the sentence. It was a tactical move.

It was easy for me to find time to spend with Susan even in busy day. We talked in between classes, while walking back to hostel, during free hours. We didnt have anything to say . But we never stopped the night calling or messaging. I was sitting with Susan in a bakery when our first year result came. Susan Jose opened the pdf file from her phone and checked our result. Fortunately, Resault made me happy and it affected her very badly. I tried to consolidate her. But she didnt bother to listen me. Her face became red in colour. I looked around. Even an outsider can easily understand whats going on there. I dont know where !. There he came, Kamalesh the great. He didnt need an explanation to fetch the situation. He was extremly happy about the result. Its easy to consolidate a failed person when you succeeded in it.

So kamlesh tried to talk to Susan.

"Its ok Sussss.. We can write the papers again in the next sem.”. He said.

“What he meant by calling her Sussss..Why are you making a small name into a complex one ”. I wanted to ask, but didnt ask. Susan didnt reply. So kamalesh started asking about the subjects she failed.

“No supplies for me Kamalesh..” .she replied.

“Then what is your problem? .He asked.“Whats your GPA?”
I could see his reaction to her response. HE stared at her. His eyes almost bulged out from the hole.

Then what is the matter. Is that not enough for you ?”. Kamalesh fired.
 Then it was me who replied to him.

" Actually, ..the problem is..I lost four papers.Not She. Ehh..That is why she is sad..”

Read next chapter here

Saturday, December 6, 2014

After that 15 hours : An unexpected turnover

Chapter 2: An unexpected turnover

Yet to read the first chapter ? Read here

" So you both are working in same organization, and you came here due to her. Right ? I asked him. 
“Yeah. Same company, same college, same class. We were class mates in college”

“Oh that's nice. Both are in same office too ?” I asked.

“Yeah. Same office ,but different building.” He said.
I smiled. He then looked around , trying to get attention of his friend. At the same time she rose from her seat and moved walked away towards the wash basin. Seconds later he turned back his head 180 degree to see her. She is still washing her face. He held up for her to come closer and when it happened ,he offered her his window seat in light of the fact that he thought she would like it.

“ No. I have mine.” she said as she moved towards her seat. Then that happened. Unexpectedly. She turned back, now more closer to him, then said “ Please give me my space. I don’t want anyone to be with me now. Please“. Then she looked at me and went back to her seat.

Ajaml sat there as a lost emperor. He looked at me. I gave him back a sorry look. I really did. He sat there as a person who lost everything. Not her reply but my presence at the time of the conversation made him extremely uncomfortable. I sensed the situation and act accordingly.

“ Which one is the coming station.? . Is it Katpadi ? .” I asked him. Tried to break the ice.

“ Ya . It is. “ He replied in a low voice, though not giving a proper eye contact. 

“ I 'm feeling hungry. Have to eat something” . I said. He just smiled at me. It was a bad attempt to make him happy. So I kept quiet and opened my book again.

Minutes passed. The train achieved its best speed. Visuals from outside got to be  obscured green in color. Each one is occupied with their own particular works. No one talking or listening to or appreciating the perspectives. They wouldn't fret the surroundings. Our young lady listening to music through her earphones, eyes shut, supporting her head on the wall of the cabin. She seems sad about what simply had happened. Her face says as much. My eyes meandered around the cabin.

A lame person who cannot walk because of his paralysed legs came to the cabin. Nobody care him. He continuously asking money to each one of them. Nobody replied. He then moved towards the man sitting over the lengthy seat. Neither he cared our person. At that point the crippled individual called that man by shaking his legs. His activity didn't satisfy our man. He got aggravated. " Take your hand off my body. " He shouted. " Sir..sir... " weak individual broadened his arms and kept on asking. 

" What do you need. I don't have cash to give you ?".Gentleman seems too rude to him. “ These people wont allow us to walk freely. Fraud people they are. What do you want ?“ He continued. Lame person didn't reply ,instead he have him back a helpless look. “ I will call police. What do you want ?” .The man repeated his question. Now the lame person seems little distracted .“ I want to stand like you. Can you made me so ? “ He replied and left him.

Suddently our girl stood from her seat and gave him 20 ruppees. The gentleman sitting there was stunned by that scene. "Don't encourage them. That too 20 ruppees!!" Said the gentle man.
"Its ok. " She said "Its my 20th birth-day today. How much money we used to spend for birthday celebration. Let it go for a good thing this time."

Ashish and I were watching these scenes. We looked each other in surprise after hearing disabled person's reply. We both felt sorry for him. That was enough to trigger another conversation between us. We started talking again and it was around 5:15, I asked one question which in turn made my day an awesome one. “ Is she your girlfriend? “ . I asked.

“More than that. But not now. It's in a complex stage now. You saw before.Right? “. He said.

 “ Yeah. Why was that?. She is angry with you? “ . I asked again.

"Yeah. Nothing went right that day. Its a long story." .He said.

"What is the issue really ? ". I asked. 

" Its began from me just. Anyhow I never suspected that things will change as it did. Not Even in my most exceedingly awful dreams. Anyhow everything slipped far from me. She seems like she is fed up with my relation. Its my bad. “

" How long you both are in connection? " .I asked, More inquisitive now 

" Eight months. Yet it began long back. When I was in school. " Ashish answered with a little grin on his lips. That was the beginning of a big lengthy narration.  The most talkative person sitting opposite to me started his adventurous story.most chatty individual opposite inverse to me began his bold story.

(Ashish's personal narration)

plus two marks were not enough to get an admission into TKM college of engineering. Kerala's second ranked engineering college. My father wanted me to study there. 

After a lot of battles and troubles he made me a seat in CS branch. Not my mark, but my father's money gave me a chance to try my luck. For me, it was an adventurous task. First day first class, One person came and introduced himself as our advisor and gave a lengthy speech about tradition and its values. Nothing was listenable for me. My mind was preoccupied with various other things. Our advisor went on. Even he wasn't sure what he was talking about. 

Later he asked us to introduce our self to the class. One by one introduction went on. I was sitting at the fourth bunch of middle raw. I planed sentences to say and sat there well prepared. 

“ My name is Susan Jose. Eh.. I completed my plus two in Dubai. My home town is eranaklulam and now I am staying here in WWH hostel “. One girl from the bench in Front of mine introduced herself. 

“Proper Ernakulam or... You have to be specific. Ernakulam is a big town, right!! “ The faculty asked her back. 

“Not proper Ernakulam. Its 'Thiruvandoor'. She replied. That place was quite familiar to me because its my birth place. Actually, she didn’t pronounce it correctly. So 

I corrected in a loud enough voice 

“ Its Thiruvanvandoor. Not Thiruvandoor.”. I said it from behind.

“ Yeah. Right. Its thiruvanvandoor.” She said and turned back towards me with an awesome smile. I still remember that moment. That was the moment I first saw her face. 

I felt as if I found some treasure. The rest of the class I was thinking about the various ways through which I can talk to her. “We are from the same place. She will talk to me After this class. She will come and ask me how I know that place. I will take that as a chance and build a friendship with her”. My thoughts wandered 

through a sequence of impossible, but beautiful dreams.She came to me after that class and spoke with me for a good five minutes. I couldn't find a single mistake in her. Her dressing, talking, laughing, nodding...every thing I liked about her. She absolutely made my day wonderful.

Coming days, I tried whatever I could to impress her, at least to talk to her. But her reactions weren't positive. She seems more like a person who doesn't like to Keep relations with boys. So I didn’t invest much time behind her. 'Let her go' I thought, as I turned my focus on other girls. My hard works gave me a result, in the form of another chocolate coloured girl, Aswini, my workshop lab partner.

Hostel friends

Weeks passed by. Nothing changed in the middle of she and myself. Indeed me and aswini got to be all the more closer. My hostel life was additionally improving step by step. I got a little loop of companions over yonder. The majority of the friends were from mechanical. We used our night times sitting together, talking delicate things, consuming  together ans so on. Vineeth, Rohit , Laxman, Nair.. the list goes on..As days passed by our discussions shifted from gentle things to natural boys topics. Especially the topic we would like to discuss just after one month in college. The Girls!. Each has their own views.

“ Dude, our class is rich with girls. Man...its a heaven. Beautiful structured girls man.. den etc etc etc.. “ .Vineeth commented as if he could not  believe what he was experiencing  

“Electronics !! F***. Nothing is there man. Not at all impressive. Not even a single piece“. Ramesh cried.

Poor mechanical guys didn’t have anything to project. They kept silent. Except one. Rohit. He asked me a question.

“ Ashish, How is Susan Jose.? “.  His words was kind of a stab on  me. I struggled for words to reply him. How do he know her!!. I wondered.

“I don't know much. She is good. Much like a studious girl“. I replied.

“She said that you are always behind a girl. Is that so? “. He asked.

“ Oh. Did she say so ?. .. “ I replied but instead of answering his question I fired him an other question.

“ How do you know her ? What did she say about me ? “. I asked.

“ Don't worry man. We both are from same school, We know each other since 8th standard . Yesterday I saw her  and asked about you. She said you are too talkative. She doesn't like talkative people. I think that is the reason why she said so“. He explained. 

I felt lost. Not because of his conversation with Rohit. But because the way she disliked me. “Being a talkative person is not that bad. Why did she think so.   If she 
didn’t like it, it is her problem not mine. “ . I thought as I went back to my room.    

An unexpected turn over.

We usually spend our whole lab sections by doing nothing. That day Susan with her partner Micah chose (accidentally chosen I should say) our desk to do the lab. Each table has materials for two groups. We four started our work. I kept silence. Aswini started explaining the experiment and I listened. I dint give Susan a look. Not even a single time. Aswini continued to explain and I hardly replied. She smelled something wrong about me but didn't ask anything. We finished our work around 30 minutes ahead of 1'o clock. Lunch interval is at 1. So I moved closer to Aswini and looked into her phone. She showed me some pics of her cousins and parents. 

Suddenly Susan and Micah adjusted their chairs in order to see the pics. She went through some pics and later skipped to some other topics. They talked about different topics in which most of them were from my interested areas. But I kept quiet. Aswini noticed that and she asked accordingly.

“Any problem ?. Why are you moody today ? What happened ? “ She asked three questions in a raw.

I took a breath and said. One lengthy answer for all the three questions. “ No yaar.  People thinks I am always behind you. And they don’t like talkative people. So its better to be silent in front of them. Right ? “. I said and left my chair. Aswini sat there as if she heard something Unwanted. Whereas Susan's face was same as I expected. Shocked.

Remaining 10 minutes I spent with some of my hostel mates and at the end of the period, I said bye to aswini and prepared to leave. When I opened the glass door to leave the lab, I felt something on my shoulder. It was she. She tapped On my shoulder to get my attention. I found myself a place on the corner of the corridor. She followed me and asked.

“ Was that because of me ?”

“What do you think. “. I replied

“Who told you ? “

“Why should I say?. Just think. You will get it.” I replied.

“ I don’t know who said that to you. You should tell”. She argued.

“ Oh. You can't even identify that person. That means you said those things to many people. Did you ? “. I said. “ Just think of that sentences you said about me.”

She kept silence for a second or so, then she opened her mouth.

“ How do you know Rohit ? “.

“He is my hostel mate. “. I replied.
“I dint mean that..actually I just said... “.She struggled in front of me to get words. She didn’t even complete here sentence. Then It was me who acted quickly.

“Its OK. “ I said “ Please don't fight with Rohit. Leave it. Bye” .I completed my reply and stepped away from from her.

“Ashish, actually he asked me those things. I didn't mean to hurt you”.  She called out from behind. 

“OK. You didn't hurt me. And to be frank, I didn’t have my breakfast today. So I don’t wanna skip my lunch. Bye.”. With that I left the  corridor.

I knew that Susan was compleetly under my diolouges now. Yes , I have a great capability to bent any topic in my favour. I can make people belive me. I can earn someone's trust easily

Chennai Trivandrum Express  took 90 minutes to reach Katpadi station. We both stretched ourselves and Ashish took a break from his story. He wanted to get out of the 

train, so I followed him. We talked about casual topics for the next few minutes. While I entering back into the train,he told me one more thing. From the behind . 

“ I still remember . That was the first time she touched me. A  simple tap on my shoulder“.

 Ashish proceeded with his story. He seems more comfortable in his narration. 

I still remember the day I walked away from Suasn. I was the one who walked away from her. So naturally I should have an upper hand on her. But things wasn't going 

good for me. I didn’t sleep that night. Her face haunted me. I tried to make me busy with other things. But most of my attempts were flops. I switched off my bed light 

and try to get some sleep. Not the way I behaved but the things she told to Rohit made me sad.  

My thoughts went completely against her. Sadness turned to anger. Little later, my phone beeped twice which caused me to jump out of my dreams. I took my phone and it 

was from an SMS from Susan Jose. Don't ask me whether an anger feeling can evolve to something like a guilty feeling, because that is what exactly happened there after 

seeing her message.

I am sorry if I hurt you, That was a general opinion. Dnt angry with me. GBU - Susan” 

That message was enough to melt down my anger on her. My mind always wanted to talk to her a lot, Even from the beginning of the college. But the man inside me never 

permitted it. Now, after seeing her message I felt as if I have lost 10 kgs. I composed her a reply but didn't send. Finally after all typing and retyping I send her 

my reply

         Me: Its k. I am sorry for what happened in the morning.  God bless you too.

   Susan: Thanks. and dnt be sorry. U didnt do nythng wrong. Its my mistake

That was the beginning of a lengthy conversation with her. Susan Jose from Dubai talked to me around 45 minutes that night. Her studies,family, School, friends...From her messages I realized that what Rohit said is correct. I found something interesting in her topic. Each of her reply’s were clever. She dint talk much about any of the topic. At last, she said a goodnight and I replied the same with one more sentence, a question actually.

      Me:  Gdnt. How did u get ma numbr ?.

I waited for her reply but it took five minutes to get. That was the beautiful message from her so far.

"Aswini gave me. Pls dont give this to anyone else. I dont want it to b with anyone else."

No. I wont give. I replied.

 I cant explain how happy I was that day. Those few words from her was like a surprise gift for me. I read the message again and again. You may not find that much stuff in that message. But for me it was like a heavy rain fall in a desert. That was the longest night of my life. For the first time in my life, I waited for the 
morning to come fast. For the first time in my life I waited hours and hours to start next day's class. I felt important that day.

It was the beginning of a remarkable friendship between Susan Jose and myself. I put in a  lot of effort  to make it a rememberable one. As i  already mentioned, it had  started from  three-four SMS,however soon ,I was  in a situaion where I wouldnt  stir from my bed until I recieved a good morning message from Susan. Most of my days started with her messages and came to an end with her goodnight. I couldn't hide my friendship from others, especially my roommates. They recognised  the changes that came in me  after I had started messaging her. Friends,they just  know everything, Sometimes they will do you some help also,some uncalled for  helps. 
My roommates told  this well kept secret to a  person in the next room. He presented it infront of our group,my hostel goup. From the very next day, they started  teasing her with my name whenever they saw Susan. Whenever susan walked  near to us, They used to call out , "Ashish..AShish". I pleaded them to stop that. But my begging was like an encouragement for them. They did it again. "Susan is definitely going  to stop  messaging me". I thought. I sat impatiently in the last period of the day. My thoughts lingered about Susan and the incidents that had  happened . I watched her from my back seat. Studious Susan was sitting at the front seat taking notes. She seemed  least worried about the things happened just  hours before.the  most boring class was going on-Basic Mechanical engineering. "Why should CS sudents learn mechanical? "I thought . I looked at Shahal,Shahid and Ranjith. 

( I fogot to introduce them. They are my roommates. All three are from calicut... that is enough 
for now). Shahid is sleeping on the desk as if it were his birth right. Shahal is awake but looked  like a drunken person,shaking his head, looking around,and cursing himself for attending that class. Poor ranjith was sitting in the first bench. Ranjith was short so the teachers insisted that he should sit in the front. My attention shifted to Susan again. My princess was  listening carefully. "Susan... how can you listen that boring lecture.". I wanted to ask her. I watched her. " I wouldn't  want to lose  her at any cost. ". I reminded myself. 

Suddenly, the person who performed the stage show so far in front of the class asked a question.

 "What is the difference between a 2 stroke and a four stroke engine ? " Question to the first person sitting at the left row, first bench. 

" Four stoke engine has four strokes where as two stroke has only two". He answered. 

" it.?. I didnt know that. Where are you from ? ". Sir asked him 

"Kottayam. " 

"I thought people from  kottayam were clever.Looks like they are not...Ok.You stand person" He said. 

Next student got up said: " Pass". 

Sir asked him the same question. "Where are you from. ". 

From the back seat, i could see people  standing up one by one, no one was sitting nor answering. He was asking the same question to the people who didnt answer." Where are you from?". Half of the people were already  standing now. I looked at Shahid. He was still sleeping peacefully. No one even bothered to wake him up. "So why should I". I turned towards Shahal and asked 

" Da.. what is the difference...What shall we say?

" Ey man.. I dont even know which subect is going on. This four stoke two stroke is mecahnical right?" .He replied. 

I looked aound.and saw people getting up ony by one like a chain reaction, one after the other. I called Shahid. I woke him up from his sleep. His eyes were  red enough to get an idea about what he was doing so fa. Finally it was our turn. the question was first put to shahal. He stood and said 

"Four stroke is for four wheelers and two stroke is for two wheelers." 

" Where are you from ? " Sir asked. 


" No comments. Next". He said 

Next was my turn. I stood and give him a pleasant smile. He didnt smile back. I continued to smile because I dint have any thing else to do. 

" Please stop showing your teeth and tell me the answer if you have one. " 

"I don't know". I said. 

"Where are you from?" 

"Ernakulam" . I said. 

"Why are you wasting your time boy. Go home. Aleast you can save your bus fair. " 

" I am staying in the hostel sir.". I said. 

"Then you can save your mess fee. Next".

"No sir"  I replied " I couldn't listen the class as I was not feeling well". I said that with an extreemly tired face. I don't know why, He asked me to sit down. I told you, na..I have a great capability to bent any topic in my favour. I can make people belive me. I can earn someone's trust easily.

 With that he turned to shahid who was  already on his feet. 
Shahid stood up even before his chance arrived  because  he knew for sure that I wouldnt  answer that. Sir  had already noticed Shahid sleeping in beween the class . 

Shahid stood and said directly, not even trying to answer the question, without the least  trouble. 

" I am from calicut sir". 

" That means that you dont know the asnwer. right? " 

" Yes. I dont know." 

"Ok..good... ehhh...Your good name please. " .He asked. 

" Shahid sir." .He called out as if he were standing in a military camp. 

"OK.. Shaihd, What was my question?".

Shahid didnt have any thing to say, He was sleeping till seconds before. He didn't know what the question was.


After that 15 hours : The Uninvited Guest.

 Chapter 1 :  The Uninvited Guest.  

"I am Ashish. Your name? ". He asked me as he possessed the seat inverse to me. I answered with a grin and a "distracted" look. He was by all accounts an attractive fellow, around 6 ft tall, slim and fair enough. He wore a Blue shirt on which a written work says "1889" at the right midsection. I was contemplating the opportunity I had recently missed. 'Hard Luckiness! ', I thought as I raise my hand to shake with his. After a couple of seconds of quiet, he 'broke the ice' by asking my local emulated by various inquiries, and that was the start of an Extraordinary day of my life.

It was a Friday night of June. 13-June 2014. I cleared out my office around 1 o check in the twelve despite the fact that my office time was till 8 in the night. 

"Manager, I have to leave at 1 PM. Train is at 3.15. I came early today " I told my manager. Everything was fine there in the workplace. I finished my work  and left the ODC at 1 PM. Considering the 
traffic ,it will take almost 2 hours to achieve central station. I waited in the bus stop.No buses. 'I could have leave at 12.30', I thought. My waiting lasts around 5 minutes and finally it comes to an end as I saw a distant image of a bus at the far end. First bus came in the bus stop was an AC bus. Usually, an Ac bus can never 
ever make any temptation in me. But now, the situation is different. I have to reach the station within 2 hours plus, its one o clock in the noon now. Chennai is burning. I felt as Chennai is more closer to Sun than any other place in the globe.  

“One Central “. I said as I gave cash for the bus ticket. With God's grace, I reached the station around 2.30. I approached the Help desk to know the status of my ticket which was in waiting list when I booked it two months ago. “RAC. S3-39” The lady sitting in the help desk told me. “Still RAC!“ I whispered. Since I didn't Have any other option I walked towards the platform 5. I stepped into the train and occupied my seat. I gazed around. I wondered whether this ticket will get confirmed or not. A group of people entered with their huge Bags and baskets.I adjusted myself in order to make them easy to carry their bags. One person came and stared at me. “What? Am I doing any free live show here? “ I Asked myself and gave him back a strange look. He kept his bag on the upper berth and moved away.

3:10 PM

I looked around , A family is perched on the seat beside me. Inverse to that seat possessed by a man in his initial forties, a ladies in her late twenties and a youthful young lady around 23-24 years . I opened my sack and took one book from it, however I couldn't turn any single page. My thoughts were about the individual who is going to share RAC seat with me. 'Last time it was a young lady and she exited the seat quickly in the wake of seeing a boy in the opposite seat . TTRs are constantly kind towards young ladies. They can even discover a full compartment for a girl having RAC ticket. How these girls can foresee a boy's character at the 
first sight. Last time she were shouting to the TTR to get an other seat for her. 'Idiotic girl!.'.My thoughts wandered over number of sequence of incidents happened during my last journey.

" Is this your seat ?" .One consistent firm male voice brought back me to this present reality. 

" Definitely" I answered. A young person in his mid twenties is remaining before me. I provided for him a 'what you need' look. " 

'You in RAC. Right ?

'Yes. 39' 

'I have reservation in S7. Do you mind to exchange the seats once the checking from the TTR is over .' He asked 

I dint get the response to answer. A boy having a confirmed seat is asking to swap my seat with him. 'Was it truly what he needed to ask or did I get it wrong' I thought as I provided for him a confounded look. 

" My friend is in this compartment. She needs me to be with her. You alright ?. Please.." He comprehended my confounded look and clarified me everything in one sentence as he pointed towards the young lady sitting in my adjoining seat.

The statement 'She " in his answer was sufficient for me to comprehend his choice totally. Sometimes Not big essays but a single word is enough to explain a big complex concept.I looked at her. Her face seems like she doesn't like his presence. She gave him an uncomfortable look. Nothing changed his decision.

" Hmm. I am al right. I will move once TTR checked my Ticket." I said. 

" al right .Much appreciated." he said. 

He remained there as a symbol of a huge number of young men who will give up anything for young ladies. 

3.25 PM

Its moving now. The train. Trivandrum mail began its 15 hour venture. Individuals inside the compartment are occupied in setting their packs some place. Each one making commotions. Some individuals waving their hands towards individuals remaining on the platform. Individuals began possessing their seats.My RAC partner found herself a seat on the lengthy berth right to mine. . I opened one book and tried my best to read it. I spent my next one hour by reading James Patterson’s  'The Cross'. Every time I finished one page, I gave her a look. She was pretty enough to make me finish every page as fast as possible.

" I will come once TTR completes his errand " He said and left. My satisfaction didn't last much. Here comes the second young lady, with whom I expected to share my seat. At the first minute itself,my solid choice to trade the seat turned into tentative. 

'Dude, you can sleep for the rest of your life. But this opportunity won't come again.' Someone told me from my mind. 'But you gave him your word. How can you change it Now' The real me replied to my mind. Finally, I decided to stay quiet till TTR comes. My mind is in a 50-50 condition. May be 60-40. 60 towards sleep and 40 towards the Girl. I planed to make a clever move in front of TTR, which might prevent me from exchanging his seat with mine. I practised the sentences which I should say to TTR. I Waited for the officer to come.

4:10 PM

TTR came and asked me my ID card. I gave my Id card. He looked at my name against his list. I began in a delicate voice, " Sir, really I am wanting to change my seat with him" indicating him " He is a friend of mine. Will that be an al right for you?,Mine is RAC and he will get down ahead of me .Is that a problem ? ”.I said the last two sentences little louder with a specific end goal to remind him that my seat is RAC. I needed him to stay against our choice. Fortunately he did.

" Rules won't permit that. Your seat is RAC and his reservation is just till Ernakulam. Your spot is Thiruvalla, right?. It will be an issue"  He said as he rubbed his cheek. 

I provided for him a self-reproachful look. He acted rapidly. " Sir . I needed to be in this compartment. My companions are here." He said. 

"Rules are not to change as you like.What if a person reserved your seat from Ernakulam to Trivanrum. Where will he sit“. The TTR seems genuine.
After a few minutes of silence he said “ Any way, Let me see “. 

He next moved towards my RAC accomplice and asked same, She provided for him her ID card and said " Sir ,mine is RAC. Might you be able to arrange me an alternate seat ? ". Her demand appears to be fine to me. " Its preferable to discover an alternate seat over sitting with a boy. particularly when the journey is around 15 hours. At least she didn't shout like that past young lady.' 

" There is one seat accessible in S2. At the same time three individuals asked me as of now." He answered as he confirmed her ticket. After a couple of seconds of  stop, he turned towards us, smiling but serious face. 
 He asked him." This woman require one seat. Would you be able to trade with hers. You both can sit together, right ". He said.

Our boy gave me a confused look. I understood the meaning of the look. “ But we already agreed to...” he tried to explain himself and failed to complete his sentence.
“ You both are boys. Its a lady here. If you are OK with that, I can arrange her that seat.” TTR said.The boy looked at me, TTR looking at him. Our girl looking at three of us. Then all three of them started looking at me. I nodded with a confused face which they interpreted as the green signal. I smiled. So does our boy ,TTR and the girl. Like a series of bulbs glows in sequential order.She gathered her sacks and got prepared to move from the compartment. Shockingly she said a bye to me. The first and last word she said to me. She is gone.

"I am Ashish. Your name? ". He asked me as he possessed the seat inverse to me. I answered with a grin and a "distracted" look. He was by all accounts an attractive fellow, around 6 ft tall, slim and far enough. He wore a Blue shirt on which a written work says "1889" at the right midsection. I was contemplating the opportunity I had recently missed. 'Hard Luckiness! ', I thought as I raise my hand to shake with his. And that was how I met Ashish. Ashish and I discussed our jobs,natives,salary..every conceivable themes that appears to be fine between to outsiders.

Read the next chapter HERE

Sunday, August 31, 2014

And then there were none

"Hope is a good thing" they said "May be the best of things". Well said. Yes hope is a good thing.Its cause you think supernaturally, makes you to endure in a dream world, on the other hand its make you do stupid worthless things.All my days start with a new hope even though most of them were flops.Hopes of earning more salary, hope of getting an on-site chance, the hope of living like a king, hope of getting more friends.....

I could say I got lucky enough to have a vast number of friends from both boys and girls.Most of my friends from girls considers me as their brother.Ofcourse, it's a small trick of girls. If a boy is not good looking or not up to level they expected, they will simply make him as a brother.Though I enjoyed my life with each of my friends. And there wasn't any hope of getting a girlfriend till that day.

My office life starts at 11 am and it longs till 8 PM. Diya and I was in same team where as Irine and Rahul was in other teams. Rahul, Diya, Irin and I. we knew each other before. We were classmates. We were lucky to be here in the same project.

Among the number of restaurants, ABFC was the only one where Keala meals are available. We normally have our lunch from ABFC. It was little far from my ODC. Then too we preferred to go there.We tried varieties with foods from ABFC. If you go there, six out of 10 people you meet there would be from Keala. we four go together and one will collect the cash and get the bill. at the same time, two of the remaining will stand in the queue in front of the food counter and last person will look around and reserve a table with 4 chairs for us. Diya was the one who was more expertise on this task.It was not that easy to execute that. You need some skill to do it neatly.By gods grace Diya got it in sight.She looks around and try to reserve an available table. if there no free seats, she will examine the plates of each person and stand beside the table where people with less food remaining on their plate.

Usually we take 1-1.15 hours to finish our lunch.Everyday process is same.coming together, accumulating cash, eating together and moving.All same except that day. Except that above mentioned day.

I was put into the task of reserving seat that day.I commenced my work. I looked around and found a vacant table at the right most side of the eating place.I got at that place and found myself a seat In one of the chair. I was waiting for others to arrive.I could catch some familiar faces in that location in the hall. suddenly I 
heard somebody from behind saying something in Malayalam. I reversed back. a group of three four people are coming towards my direction. three boys and a young girl.Being a boy, my eyes were on that girl. That girl in a navy blue, salvar, holding a plate of Kerala meals in her hands coming towards me. She was too careful not to spill any of the dishes onto other people.

She is asking her friends to move fast.They occupied the table near to us.We started lunching. I spent my lunch time by examining her.I could find out some specialities in her expression. I felt so. Something that makes her more pretty.She was the most chatty person I have ever seen In my life. she never let others to spread out their mouth. She was the only one talking there. saying something, expressing joy at her friends. Such a nice girl she was. I strained hard to hide my excitement from my friends.Yes, I was shaken up. I  was happy Indeed. I don't know why. of course, sometimes you feel exceedingly happy for nothing. Its like that.   

Things got changed that day. The entire day my thoughts was about her, 'what's her name.?', 'which project.?','where she stays.?', and most importantly 'Is ABFC the restaurant where she have her lunch every day?'. While sitting in my office, I recollected the exact time we went for lunch. It was around twenty minutes passed one. 

That moment itself, i decided my lunch time for the coming days.I tried to picture her in my mind."No, I can't. Not complete" I thought. Something is missing. More than thirty minutes was not enough to recall her face." Tomorrow I need to pass more time at that place.I necessitate to see what draws her face something special" I calculated everything in my head.End of the first day!.

Next day, I called everyone at 1pm and asked them to come for lunch. Rahul was little busy with his work. He asked for ten minutes. It was hard to spare that 

time.but no way.I waited.Albin was also there that day.He is also a malayali guy.He was in a problem.He was not allocated in any of the project. But he was mapped under our project. So he used to come to our office most of those days for nothing but to talk to our manager.

We started our five minute journey to ABFC. We are already late by 5 minutes. I speed up and flexed back. Diya and Erin are walking as they are vying for a slow walk competition.What the hell these guys are acting.I stood there and waited them to reach me. told them to speed up. they stared at me as they see me for the first time. 

"We are going to the upstairs. Erin wants salad." Diya said. Okiezzz... go.. I thought as I agreed by shaking my head.

We three reached ABFC. I started searching for that face.  No, I couldn't. "where she is ". I asked myself. Now she is not here. I answered myself. Finally, I realized. She is not here in this restaurant. 'Did she finish her lunch.? Or yet to come?' . All possibilities run through my mind.

 "What you want. Kerala meals.. Right?"  Rahul asked me as he moves towards the bill counter. I replied with something. I had my lunch without much interaction with them. I came back to ODC. My tech lead give me some work to discover whatever he said ,but none of them got into my head. I began working slowly but later I recognized that that work needs more presence of intellect..So gradually I engaged with my work and she moved out of my mind. but not for ever. only for that few hours.

Two days later. Exactly two days later, She was there in my queue. Same venue, same time. I saw her. This time I utilized the opportunity. I watched her fearlessly. Oh my god. there was not a single scratch or pimple on her face.but that was not the speciality of her face. I studied carefully. I will be able to describe her face at 
any time. Later I found the speciality of her face. Oh, so this is what makes her pretty. I thought in my mind.But that speciality is a top secret. I can't write that here. because it may lead others to identify her.

As days go by,it became my routine to see her.Some days I was not able to see her.but she was there in ABFC almost all the days.She never recognized any of my activities. Not even my existence till that fine day.Diya and Erin chose an other restaurant that day. We three decided not to change the locale. We went there without them and we started our lunching in the leftmost table. Rahul wanted to sample something different apart from Kerala meals. so he ordered one fried rice for him and one noodle for me.I searched her In the restaurant. she Is not there. I started enjoying my lunch as I am looking out through the window. we could examine everything on the outside through the glass walls of the lobby.

I was lucky enough to see her outside, sitting with her friends.I told Albin to watch her. The first minute itself, he understood her talkative nature.He sounded out some compliments about her. Her face expression, movement of hands while talking, her laughing.. Everything I watched as I  see this for the first time in my life.We ate up our luncheon and she still there. She seems like a person without any work to do there in the office. Albin wanted to watch her closely. we decided to walk in front of her, so that we could look straight into her face from a shortest distance.

I revised my design in my mind and fixed the D point, Point at which I should look into her face."Look must be casual as i am enjying the infrastructure of the office. doesn't stare. she shouldn't understand I'm looking her".I trained myself.We started. I felt some music is playing in the background.From the starting point itself, I began to rotate my heads in order to create an impression of a person enjoying the infrastructure.I saw that D point appears closer.Its few steps away. The next second itself, I lifted my head and saw her.What the hell. She is looking at me. Staring actually. What will I do now. The plan failed. My reaction was enough for a clever girl to understand my intention.I acted as a normal person, but wasn't enough for the situation. any way we went forward according to the plan. we walked straight and took a U turn and reached the starting point through an elliptical track.

On that point, standing Diya Irin and Neetu. Rahul has already ordered them about her and our plan."Where is she" Diya said"I want to visit". They desire to carry through the same program that we both managed a few minutes ago."better not to visit her today, I will show you tomorrow, " I said. that was not enough to end them. 

Then I ordered them to get hold of the same course and to walk as they are getting back to ODC.
Diya nodded as she understood everything.They started walking... they walked till that D point.Then stood still...then looked into her face for the next few seconds..Then a sharp U turn from that D point itself. Now it doesn't matter how clever she is, their acting was enough for any girl to understand the whole story.

"Why did you stare at her. you could walk straight and come through the other direction na. Why did you come back suddenly after looking after her?" I fired many questions at her. she replied with a never mind attitude.

I saw her again. many times. but its quiet visible from her reaction that she understood me and my actions.She started showing some kind of uncomfortable in my presence.Its paid me some kind of pain in me.Days went by.One day Diya gave me really good advice, she advised me not to die before her.She was right.Why should I get an unknown girl uncomfortable.If she doesn't like or if she is uncomfortable because of my actions, it's safer for me to finish everything.Hence I resolved that day to avoid everything about her, from the mind.

The next day I saw her. Standing with her friends in front of ABFC. I accidentally saw that. Then I moved away my eyes. I tried to avoid every possible chance of meeting her. But every day I saw her. So I couldn't forget her completely.However, my brain was so eager to see her. I dint want to make her uncomfortable. But she was something special formed. it was not easily removable. Somewhere in mind, I actually liked her.I finished looking at her even though I wanted to assure her. If I accidently see her, I didn't move for a second look. I could wield it well. she was however a face which gets me so glad to find out.

That Friday Albin joined in our project team. My tech lead selected him as a resource. Next Monday we spent a long time there in ABFC.I didn't see her.At the end of the day, Rahul and I told Albin to drop us on the main road so that we could get the MTC bus.Albin used to arrive by bike.He took us from the main gate of the office. Main road is 1 KM away from the main gate.We three in Albin's bike moved to the main road. He stopped his bike beside a footpath.

We came down from the bike. vehicles were waiting for the signal to strike on. Just before crossing the road, I picked up a young woman and a boy coming through the same footpath. It was 8 in the night. Street lights were enough to see them.They walk slow. I didn't require an ID tag to recognize that they are from my office. They chose to walk this much distance instead of coming by bus. Boy holding her hand in his. I could recognize her yet in the absence of street lights.It was the same face I studied for finding that speciality.That hidden speciality.

Are we going by this bus or waiting for the next bus? "Rahul asked. "We will wait. Let the next bus come"  I replied. "Let's hope so". I told myself. The signal turned to green. I waited there for vehicles to move on.